this is my territory

Friday, October 24, 2008

YAY! I get to be promoted!! :)
YAY! I am the OGL!! hahaha.

oh yah, a funny conversation!

ME: Hey Mum, I get to be the OGL!
MOM: What 妖?!!
ME: OMG.....

hahaha

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

OK! long time no blog. It's practically dead. Lolz, not much people know about this blog anyway because I am very low profile and don't like to publicise it. haha. ok. Here some jokes! Enjoy.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."

A sixteen year old girl went to a priest for confession."Father, I called a guy son of a bitch yesterday."
"Why did you do that?" asked the priest.
"He touched my hand without my permission," replied the girl.
"Like this?" The priest touched her arm.
"Yes father."
"That is no reason to call him a son of a bitch." said the priest.
"He touched my breast too, father."
"Like this?" The priest touched her breast.
"Yes, father."
"That is still no reason for you to call him a son of a bitch." said the priest.
"He then took off my clothes!" said the girl.
"Like this?" The priest then took off her clothes.
"Yes, father." said the girl.
"That's too bad." said the priest, "But that is still no reason for you to call him son of a bitch."
"He then plugged his thing in my thing."
"Like this?" The priest then plugged his thing in her thing.
After catching her breath, the girl answered, "Yes, father."
"You still should not have called him a son of a bitch." said the priest.
"But father.."said the girl "..he has AIDS."
"SON OF A BITCH!!" exclaimed the priest.

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is a soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class. Her face is as fierce as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if offended... And if you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.
Students: Good morning, teacher.
Teacher: (shouting)Why is it only good morning? What about afternoon and night????
Students: Good morning, afternoon and night teacher.
Teacher: That is unacceptable! It is too long. Just wish me best regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all times.
Students: Best regards teacher!
Teacher: That's better, sit down! Listen. Today I'm going to test you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a sentence or a word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite meaning to the words, understand??
Students: Understood teacher!
Teacher: I do not want any disturbance!
Students: (silence)
Teacher: Clever
Students: Stupid
Teacher: High
Students: Low
Teacher: PopularS
tudents: Calafare
Teacher: Wrong
Students: Correct
Teacher: Stupid
Students: Clever
Teacher: No
Students: Yes
Teacher: Oh God
Students: Oh Slave
Teacher: Listen to this
Students: Listen to that
Teacher: Quiet
Students: Noisy
Teacher: That's not a question, stupid
Students: This is an answer, clever
Teacher: I'm dead
Students: We're alive
Teacher: I'm lazy to teach
Students: We are hardworking to learn
Teacher: Enough! Enough!
Students: More! More!
Teacher: Stop! Stop!
Students: Start! Start!
Teacher: Why are you people so stupid
Students: Because I am someone clever
Teacher: Lack manners!
Students: Taught enough!
Teacher: O.K. Lesson has ended!
Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
Teacher: Enough, stupid!
Students: Not yet, clever!
Teacher: Stand up
Students: Sit down
Teacher: I said CALAFARE was wrong!
Students: We said POPULAR was correct!
Teacher: You people are dumb!
Students: We are gifted!
Teacher: All of you must stay back this afternoon!
Students: Released tonight
Teacher: (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I love this picture :D